overdose

abby. fifteen. ph. shipping myself with a guy who doesnt know i exist. having real feelings for fictional characters. loving boybands who give me false hopes. reading books as a portal to the universe.  % of

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Detox to Retox theme by Marg

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“We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it’s somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life.”
"People don’t get to choose who they fall in love with. They only get to choose who they stay in love with."
I read this book yesterday and boy did I get a hungover! Too. Much. Feels. This book has a soundtrack. a sOUNDTRACK. HOW COOL IS THAT?? So I was listening to the songs while reading (I only listen to the songs when the book starts to mention the lyrics lol) so I got multiple book and eargasms. This book is soooo good that I couldn’t stop updating my status on Goodreads and spazz on Twitter! It was just too much! The issues mentioned are kind of heavy for me so I felt all kinds of emotions, specifically confusion and frustration. If you’ve read this or planning to read this, please let’s spazz!!

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“We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it’s somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life.”

"People don’t get to choose who they fall in love with. They only get to choose who they stay in love with."

I read this book yesterday and boy did I get a hungover! Too. Much. Feels. This book has a soundtrack. a sOUNDTRACK. HOW COOL IS THAT?? So I was listening to the songs while reading (I only listen to the songs when the book starts to mention the lyrics lol) so I got multiple book and eargasms. This book is soooo good that I couldn’t stop updating my status on Goodreads and spazz on Twitter! It was just too much! The issues mentioned are kind of heavy for me so I felt all kinds of emotions, specifically confusion and frustration. If you’ve read this or planning to read this, please let’s spazz!!

Posted 1 day ago

But first lemme take a selfie loljk. Thank God my lids are starting to subside now, when I woke up I looked like I was bitten by an exotic animal. My eyes don’t usually look and feel heavy like this. I had a rough night. The emotional pain took over me. There were heavy tears, legit sobbing sounds. Because of a book. Not again. Dammit! I finished Falling For Hadie by Komal Kant around 10PM and I haven’t cried //that// hard since Tabitha Suzuma’s Forbidden! I can’t believe I let another book crush my soul :-(

But first lemme take a selfie loljk. Thank God my lids are starting to subside now, when I woke up I looked like I was bitten by an exotic animal. My eyes don’t usually look and feel heavy like this. I had a rough night. The emotional pain took over me. There were heavy tears, legit sobbing sounds. Because of a book. Not again. Dammit! I finished Falling For Hadie by Komal Kant around 10PM and I haven’t cried //that// hard since Tabitha Suzuma’s Forbidden! I can’t believe I let another book crush my soul :-(

Posted 5 days ago

What I Call A Detour

My family and I were supposed to watch Captain America at MOA today but when we got there …bam! The mall was closed! Not necessarily closed as in no people can get in but almost everything was closed! The regret was washed away tho because I saw Theo James my loves teehee. I thought we’re just gonna go home but I was surprised to see that we were on a different road and then I saw Glorietta 4 & 5 but we are in luck, because they are all closed. Our last resort then, was to go straight to The Fort and check SM Aura and Market! Market! I was thrilled because there were a lot of people on the way but indeed this is our day, both malls are closed! Yeah it’s Holy Week but malls don’t usually close right? They used to have limited opening times but they don’t close as in close close. We’re already tired so I thought we’re just gonna go home but we went to the new McDo at Blue Bay (near Blue Wave and MOA) and we ate there. Another bff bundle for me, yay! There were a lot of Koreans there istg so I was like cute, cute people everywhere. Plus a lot of them were drinking McCafes and I’m so embarrassed because I have 4 large fries wow that’s …lol. This day was fuuuun! I blogged about missing detours and the heavens heard my cry, woo!

Posted 6 days ago

T O O  M U C H  I N F O R M A T I O N

My mom and I had our usual weekdate and she treated me that bff bundle omfg I just wow I was in pure bliss the entire time! I rarely do stuffs like these but I’m gonna give it a shot, woo thank you so much Kaila for tagging me!

1) What are you wearing?

A self-printed shirt that reminds me I’m alive. I’m wearing black and white though, kind of ironic.

2) Ever been in love? 

Yes. To a guy that doesn’t know I exist. Sucks.

3) Ever had a terrible breakup? 

I haven’t had any romantic relationship with anyone yet so, uhh does finishing a very tasty food considered a break up?

4) How tall are you? 

Ouchie! I’m no Jose Rizal, 

5) How much do you weigh? 

This tagging game hurts wow I never should have… Just kidding I cant really remember lol but I do feel the fats resting in my tummy and cheeks gah.

6) Any tattoos? 

Nope, no tattoos. I’d like to have a henna though, (bad girl! Jk)

7) Any piercings?

You will never see me wear earrings except for some occasions but I do have holes in my ears, well I’m a girl so it’s pretty normal.

8) OTP? 

I’m the captain of the chanbaek ship ugh I love them so much although there are other ships in the sea and sometimes I feel like they’re about to sink you know they’ll do something that will make me abort our mission to give up TTTT without fire, there is no light.

9) Favorite show? 

I don’t really watch tv shows anymore huhuhu I stopped watching New Girl I just, there are so many things to catch up on my other fandom so I kind of gave up.

10) Favorite bands? 

I can say my really really favorite is exo. I’ve been stanning them since the beginning and it’s so hard to explain I just love them ;__; I listen to bands such as the vamps, 5sos, the 1975, etcetc. but not the way I support exo.

11) Something you miss? 

I miss buying books that I really wanna read :-(

12) Favorite song?

This is so hard omg I’m not sure.

13) How old are you? 

Not too old and not too young.

14) Zodiac sign? 

Scorpio.

15) Quality you look for in a partner? 

A guy who has a big sense of humor!! I like guys who can make me laugh and with whom I can really be comfortable with. Someone whose eyes smile when he smiles, someone whose eyes are so beautiful I might drown there ugh :-( yes, it’s baekhyun.

16) Favorite Quote? 

"I didn’t say this emotional quote but I’m saying I said it anyways" - Me.

17) Favorite actor/actress? 

Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, John Lloyd Cruz (yes tbh very), etc.

18) Favorite color? 

Eh, I don’t have one lol.

19) Loud music or soft? 

Both! :-D

20) Where do you go when you’re sad? 

Nowhere, I always manage to put a happy face and go on :-) but maybe I would be really quiet and ignore people but I won’t go anywhere.

21) How long does it take you to shower? 

I’m not those type of girls who stay in the shower for like the rest of their life I don’t know?? But I’m pretty sure I take 45 minutes but never for more than an hour.

22) How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

Depends on how lazy I get lol.

23) Ever been in a physical fight? 

Nope, but I would like to punch Baekhyun in the lips …with my own lips (lul)

24) Turn on? 

The aircon …cos it’s too hot? Nya nya nyaaaa

25) Turn off? 

A guy who smokes and does drugs T____T major major as in major turn off kabog pa kay Venus Raj sa major huhuhu.

26) The reason I joined Youtube? 

Walang basagan ng trip te! Jk, originally for my Twitter fanaccount :-) 

27) Fears? 

Disappointing people and getting rejected.

28) Last thing that made you cry? 

A book. It’s the number one cause of my tears.

29) Last time you said you loved someone? 

Ahh, I can’t remember :-( I cant even remember the last time I told my parents I love them.

30) Meaning behind your YouTube Name? 

what why are you asking about the meaning behind my youtube name who are you what do you want from me

31) Last book you read? 

Cross My Heart by Katie Klein (super duper good!!!)

32) The book you’re currently reading? 

I just finished reading a book a while ago, I’m still searching for my next read!

33) Last show you watched? 

That Holy Week special from Showtime.

34) Last person you talked to? 

My mom. She was mad at me because I saved the wrong document I’m like why is it my fault she just ordered me to save the documents she left and I did and whaaaat?

35) The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

When was the last time I texted someone…

36) Favorite food? 

My mom’s adobo aahhh T_____T

37) Place you want to visit? 

If I visit the sun will I be able to get its hotness? Will I be hot too if I visit the sun? Lol.

38) Last place you were? 

SM Bacoor. 

39) Do you have a crush? 

No crushes are named crush because they’ll only crush your heart in the end. Crushes are dangerous. Try ice pick.

40) Last time you kissed someone? 

I kissed my puppies what a sad life I’m living :-(

41) Last time you were insulted? 

Yesterday through Facebook and I don’t wanna talk about it.

42) Favorite flavor of sweet? 

Anything as long as it’s sweet!

43) What instruments do you play? 

I’m not a musically gifted person but I know how to use the flute (I played when I was in 4th grade, I probably forgot about it already). My music teacher taught us basic piano lessons but mehhhh I suck. 

44) Favorite piece of jewelry? 

I don’t like jewelry.

45) Last sport you played? 

Uhm eat? Heheheh.

46) Last song you sang? 

Overdose by exo!!

47) Favorite chat up line? 

Friend: “Ganda ganda mo sa fb pero sa survival, anyare?”

Me: “FO na tayo!”

48) Have you ever used it? 

………….what it? omfg /wiggles eyebrows

49) Last time you hung out with anyone? 

A while ago, with my mom! Yay lol

50) Who should answer these questions next?

biancadoms, underapaperlune, nekofy, litratong-kupas, heureuxgirl, starofmyreveries, evecarnacite.

Posted 1 week ago

(photo source)
note: we’re not really allowed to share what happened but i cant keep my mind shut lol.
pre-camp // Just by the mere thought of “survival” makes my confidence jump out of the window and never come back. I dont like survival! Heck why would I risk my life to the wild when I can enjoy my cozy house with internet and stuff? But then for a change, for the sake of experience, for the sake of having something to do for the summer, I joined the recent Scouting Councilwide Survival Camp held last April 10-12 at Naic, Cavite.
expectations vs. reality // I expected a lot of getting lost and crying but what actually happened was: meeting → camp ensemble → eat. That’s almost everything we did so it was very disappointing.
experience // Never. Bring. A lot. Of. Things. There were a lot of walking involved, it was really tiring. I felt like a badass for bringing a bolo but I didn’t really use it lol. We went to a beach but we only picked up trash and played a game involving emer prep. Oh yeah, my left shoe was soaked in water. We walked the whole beach and had a really long walk back to the school and it was very tiring, it burned my legs but I bonded with this random kid and he was so playful and amusing despite the fact that he’s lives in the slums.
nature // The eating part was really fun though because we were obliged to cook rice in bamboo! Creating fire was pretty easy but keeping the fire alive is quite hard because of the strong wind and because yes, I’m not good with fire. During the first day we ate raw rice as in bigas! We can hear the swooshing sound of the grains while we were removing the “cooked” rice in the bamboo but during the next cooking hours, we were able to balance the water and the rice grain and we were finally able to eat proper rice, it felt like heaven.
skills // A lot of basic boy scout stuff were involved like knot tying and pioneering, which I find amusing. Not much navigation, the one which I was expecting the most. We weren’t allowed to bring tents so we made our improvised shelters and we were able to survive sleeping 2 days with mosquitoes raping us and whispering buzzes in our ears. It was also hard to crumple your own body the whole sleep duration because there are not enough spaces to sleep in. Very, very tragic.
effort // Because of this survival, I am now an official Venturer scout! It wasn’t easy, I’m telling you. It took us a lot of effort and practice, some of us even slept late for this. But it’s definitely worth it ; n ;
team // But the most enjoyable part, was that I was able to make friends. I was grouped with people I didn’t know and it was fun to be able to get to know other students who decided to take a step in hell. It’s amazing how there’s already a camaraderie between us even though we just met for days. I will never forget you guys, see you next camping!

(photo source)

note: we’re not really allowed to share what happened but i cant keep my mind shut lol.

pre-camp // Just by the mere thought of “survival” makes my confidence jump out of the window and never come back. I dont like survival! Heck why would I risk my life to the wild when I can enjoy my cozy house with internet and stuff? But then for a change, for the sake of experience, for the sake of having something to do for the summer, I joined the recent Scouting Councilwide Survival Camp held last April 10-12 at Naic, Cavite.

expectations vs. reality // I expected a lot of getting lost and crying but what actually happened was: meeting → camp ensemble → eat. That’s almost everything we did so it was very disappointing.

experience // Never. Bring. A lot. Of. Things. There were a lot of walking involved, it was really tiring. I felt like a badass for bringing a bolo but I didn’t really use it lol. We went to a beach but we only picked up trash and played a game involving emer prep. Oh yeah, my left shoe was soaked in water. We walked the whole beach and had a really long walk back to the school and it was very tiring, it burned my legs but I bonded with this random kid and he was so playful and amusing despite the fact that he’s lives in the slums.

nature // The eating part was really fun though because we were obliged to cook rice in bamboo! Creating fire was pretty easy but keeping the fire alive is quite hard because of the strong wind and because yes, I’m not good with fire. During the first day we ate raw rice as in bigas! We can hear the swooshing sound of the grains while we were removing the “cooked” rice in the bamboo but during the next cooking hours, we were able to balance the water and the rice grain and we were finally able to eat proper rice, it felt like heaven.

skills // A lot of basic boy scout stuff were involved like knot tying and pioneering, which I find amusing. Not much navigation, the one which I was expecting the most. We weren’t allowed to bring tents so we made our improvised shelters and we were able to survive sleeping 2 days with mosquitoes raping us and whispering buzzes in our ears. It was also hard to crumple your own body the whole sleep duration because there are not enough spaces to sleep in. Very, very tragic.

effort // Because of this survival, I am now an official Venturer scout! It wasn’t easy, I’m telling you. It took us a lot of effort and practice, some of us even slept late for this. But it’s definitely worth it ; n ;

team // But the most enjoyable part, was that I was able to make friends. I was grouped with people I didn’t know and it was fun to be able to get to know other students who decided to take a step in hell. It’s amazing how there’s already a camaraderie between us even though we just met for days. I will never forget you guys, see you next camping!

Posted 1 week ago